


Be Better

by CanisLuka



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Friendship, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Inferiority Complex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-03
Updated: 2014-09-03
Packaged: 2018-02-15 23:13:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2246931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CanisLuka/pseuds/CanisLuka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It hung beside the bathroom door. A constant reminder of what was, what could have been, and what is. </p>
<p>"Be better" it said to him. Because that is all that matters now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Be Better

It hung beside the bathroom door. A constant reminder of what was, what could have been, and what is.

"Be better" it said to him. Because that is all that matters now.

His entire life he had been told of the greatness of his father. Read of his incomparable skill and his fantastic accomplishments. Heard tales of what he could only imagine was the greatest game on earth, and in existence. He saw the legacy that his father had left behind and wanted nothing more than to make him proud by following in his foot steps.

He began to work hard. There was a dream to cling to. He had a goal to head towards. A drum beat that pounded with every step closer he took. A _something_ that glowed bright in the distance, singing loudly to him songs of triumph and victory. But deep within the back of his mind, a dark and lonely feeling bloomed.

It filled his head with bitter, empty clouds of doubt. Like he was missing something inside him. Some sort of important internal organ that he just was not born with. A birth defect that was barely noticeable to anyone else but all too obvious to himself. Something that could not be explained by genetics. The thing that pulled at his skin. That shrank his lungs and made his stomach throb. That made him feel like _less_.

He was afraid of inadequacy in comparison to not only those around him, but before him. He was afraid of the absolute failure that seemed absolutely certain. He was afraid of the blank, tired look of disappointment from the one person he had wanted most to please. Most of all, he was afraid of himself. He knew his limits. He knew just how hard he had to push to get the best result.

He knew he could do better.

He began to work harder. His addiction was not only to success, but something far more physical and real. Something that he could use and abuse to numb himself of all his troubles. A cure that could turn him as cold and solid as the ice beneath his feet. It propelled him faster and faster through the high before the fall.

This means, of course, that there was a fall. Nobody had ever told him what it was like to crash and burn. What it was like to feel completely and utterly destroyed past the point of repair. He never thought he would throw his life so far away that it seemed he could not reach it and pick it back up again. He knew otherwise now.

After everything that had happened, it seemed like the only option at the time. It was a fresh start. A chance at redemption that had to be taken quickly, lest the world forget who he is. He had something to prove to them, his father, and himself. He would not remain a failure.

He continued to work hard. He knew what his classmates said about him. The rumours along with the raw and hurtful truth. He fuelled all his emotion into his work and kept as collected as possible in the rink. He was sure that they would never take him seriously.

It began to happen gradually. It started with a firm pat on the back. Then a joke after practice. Familiar faces and names. An odd but charming roommate. A show of trust. Two booming, enthusiastic voices shouting out praise. Words of acceptance and respect. The beginnings of a real team. A flash of gold hair. A smile. A laugh. Loud, strong, and clear.

All these things that, if he let them, could make him truly better.

They circled around him and touched him in ways he could not yet see. A constant promise of what could be, what will be, and what is.

"Be better," he said to himself. Because that is all that seems to matter.

For now.

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to finish this for a while now. I haven't been this proud of a piece in a while.
> 
> I really wanted to explore Jack's character and stick myself inside his head for a little while. I deal with anxiety myself and I'm sure I'm not the only one who can say that, in ways, they can relate with him.
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
